Christmas

Every night Piper sits in my lap and I read to her before bed. I cherish this time. I know it's not going to last forever. Tonight she appropriately chose to read The Polar Express. I love this story. If you haven't read this story recently, take a moment to read it. It made me realize that having a child really does make you hear that bell ring every day. Piper creates a magic in our lives. She makes me believe in all that is good and beautiful.
I remember so vividly right after I had Piper I was having a tough time. I got to experience postpartum.So much fun.
It was my brother's birthday party, and everyone was sipping cocktails and living it up. I was talking to my dear friend about how hard of a time I was having. She told me that she looked around the room and she felt so bad for everyone who didn't have children. She wondered what they did. What is was that fulfilled them. At the time I just listened to her. Not until some time had passed did I really understand her words.
Christmas and all holidays I suppose make me think about what she said even more.
This little girl is so magical. One day she will be off to college and creating a life all of her own. It's the little moments with her that I cherish. Feeling her little body rest in my lap and ask who certain characters are in her books. She is the best gift that I could have ever received.
At the end of The Polar Express the child is talking about how he is an adult now and all off his friends, including his sister can't hear the bell ring anymore. I didn't travel to the North Pole, but I did become Piper's mom. She will forever make me believe.
Merry Christmas.

More Change

We've known this was coming for some time now, but we have simply outgrown our house. It's time to start thinking about saying good-bye and saying hello. This makes me so sad. I know a house is just some bricks and paint, but many memories and emotion go into a home.
This was the first home I have ever owned, and Seth's second. Under this roof our children were conceived, 1 child was brought home, and 2 dogs died. Many jokes, laughter, and memories happened here.
When my brother told me that he had ordered the for sale sign, it made my heart sink. I'm not sure if I will be able to watch him hammer it into my perfect lawn that I have taken such pride in mowing for the past 8 years.
My hope is that some fabulous gay couple will buy our house and love it and care for it as much as we did. Ok they don't have be gay, but they just usually have the best taste and take really good care of their homes.
So we have 6 months to sell our home and find a new one. This seems like a tall order in this economy, but we will try our best. If not Seth and I are going to be sharing our room with a newborn. I adore my children, but I am not into co-sleeping.
I am looking forward to the new adventures that lie ahead of us. New neighborhood, new friends, a new home, but mostly the new life that has precipitated the need to move.
www.patrickquinnhomes.com

New Season

I love living in Utah. It has it's quarks, but you take the good with the bad with anything in life. I want to make the most out of winter. I want to teach Piper all the good it has to offer. Sledding, making snowmen, skiing, being grateful that we have a sturdy home with heat and a kitchen full of food.

So this was the first snowman that I have made in years. It is so hard. Each time I drive by a snowman now I am going to marvel at it and know how much effort was put into making this work of art.

I know he is more of a zombie, but I am still quite proud of him.

New Life

I haven't been able to bring myself to post because I am so emotional. On November 3 I found out that I am pregnant. So this was planned, but a bit quick. I think I was thrown back slightly.
I work with a midwife who recently told me that at my old age of 34 my chances of pregnancy were greatly reduced. Wow I can't wait to see her and tell her how wrong she was.
I will be the first to admit that change is really hard for me. I love change, and I know that it is necessary if you want to keep growing, but it takes me a while to get used to it.
I think the thing I am worried about the most is that Piper will feel like she isn't AS loved. The thought of this crushes my heart. I love her so immensely. Will I be able to love another like I love her. I feel so guilty saying this out loud. I know the answer to these questions, but my heart and hormones are having a grand old time with me.
I have an older brother who is 3 years older. I think the world revolves around him. I have adored him forever. I remember so vividly the day he started kindergarten. I was sitting on my mom's lap in the kitchen, and I was crying for him as he walked out the door. I can't imagine a world without my sister and brother.
I know Piper will love LaBron (this is what Seth calls the baby).
I truly can't imagine a world without my children. I hope they give the world hell. I hope Piper and her sibling take on this world with gusto and lean on each other always.
My mom always says that if a mother does her job right, there will come a day when her children no longer need her. When I leave this world one day I will feel a lot better knowing that my children are not alone and that they have each other.
So for now LaBron is hanging out in the cooker and Piper is shredding it up!

Halloween

I love Halloween!
Definitely my favorite holiday. It all began with my mom. She made the best costumes. They were legendary. Then the school parades. I remember being so proud and parading through the auditorium in my costume. I truly can't wait to go to Piper's parades.
Seth and I had our first date at the East High Halloween dance. Our anniversary and Piper's birthday are in October. It's just an awesome time of year.
So 9th and 9th had trick-or-treating tonight. It was so fun. All the businesses gave little treats to the kids. There were children and dogs dressed up everywhere.

Nine years of marriage

Woo hoo! We just celebrated our 9 year anniversary. It seems like we have always been together though. I was 16 and Seth was 17. We met at good old East High School. Seth had just transferred from Rowland Hall. We were friends first, then young and in love. There is something about being so young and falling so hard. It shakes you forever.

I have always loved my Seth and I always will.

Love and Intolerance

This morning a friend of mine posted a clip on facebook of Ellen talking about a teenager who killed himself because he was outed as being gay. I can't even tell you how sad this makes me. I am sitting here crying for some child I don't know. I don't want my daughter to know a world that is so cruel. What kind of sick world are we living in. We try and stop nuclear waste from coming into our state. We go out on Earth day and plant trees and clean up our rivers, and try our best to make this a beautiful world for our children, but then we teach them that intolerance and hatred is ok. I really can't think of anything worse than raising a bigot. I will always try and keep my children away from this mentality, but it is everywhere. It is in my own family.
I have literally stopped what I was doing and sat and thought what is it about being gay that people have a problem with. Unless you are involved with someone sexually, why would you care what two people are doing in the bedroom. Seriously. Does Christianity teach this? If so, that is definitely a club I won't be signing up for. I have listened to family members, or people I know, talk about being gay in a negative way, and their children are standing by their side listening to their words, sensing their negative thoughts, and I have to believe it is coming from their role models. It is so true when they say that children are not born bigots.
We don't choose who we love. Love is so powerful. It makes your mind spin. It truly makes the world a better place.

Every day I wake up and think what can I do for Piper today that will help form her into an outstanding person. We read, go to play groups, take music lessons, and the list goes on and on. I love her unconditionally. I try and shield hatred and ignorance from her existence. I am her guide. Her positive role model.

The one thing I know I can do that will enrich her life better than anything is to really and truly teach her love and acceptance for all. I don't mean a smiling face on Sunday and telling her to help a neighbor and be kind to everyone.

I want to teach her that two men or two women being in love and kissing out in the open is no different than a man and woman. LOVE IS LOVE. I hope not long from now when Piper hears someone spew their hate, she will openly challenge them and know how sad that person is for being so ignorant and hateful.

I know how I feel in my heart. I know how my husband feels in his heart. I hope more than anything that she will learn this from us.